I’m really not a guy that like’s conflict, pretty much at all. (On the DiSC test, I’m a high “I”, and we’re known to be people pleasers.) I’m learning though, that conflict can be really good, if it’s done with the right intentions.
If you surround yourself with a bunch of “yes men,” you’re unlikely to get anywhere. Let’s face it, there are very few people who tend to have good ideas right off the bat. Most of the best ideas are tested and refined over time. If nobody is pushing back on your ideas, they’re probably not getting any better. If you’re not pushing back on someone else, you’re probably not helping them at all.
The first step is getting some people around you: mentors, friends, colleagues, etc. who will be honest with you and play Devil’s Advocate when needed. Do the same for them. Challenge each other’s ideas. Point out weaknesses. Heck, even argue a bit. It’s healthy to test one another’s ideas. You’re probably not as smart as you think you are. You’re friends probably aren’t either. Together, we’re much better than we are individually, especially when the goal isn’t to “play nice.”
Oh, and if you’re looking for a good book that talks a lot about this kind of stuff, check out Death By Meeting by Patrick Lencioni. It’s worth the read.
